{"items":["6031725ebc03280017c20e53","5fc1321472d9220018790834","5f9b493eadc673001798c54e","5f9b493eadc673001798c54d","5f9b493eadc673001798c54c"],"styles":{"galleryType":"Columns","groupSize":1,"showArrows":true,"cubeImages":true,"cubeType":"max","cubeRatio":1.7777777777777777,"isVertical":true,"gallerySize":30,"collageAmount":0,"collageDensity":0,"groupTypes":"1","oneRow":false,"imageMargin":22,"galleryMargin":0,"scatter":0,"rotatingScatter":"","chooseBestGroup":true,"smartCrop":false,"hasThumbnails":false,"enableScroll":true,"isGrid":true,"isSlider":false,"isColumns":false,"isSlideshow":false,"cropOnlyFill":false,"fixedColumns":0,"enableInfiniteScroll":true,"isRTL":false,"minItemSize":50,"rotatingGroupTypes":"","rotatingCropRatios":"","columnWidths":"","gallerySliderImageRatio":1.7777777777777777,"numberOfImagesPerRow":3,"numberOfImagesPerCol":1,"groupsPerStrip":0,"borderRadius":0,"boxShadow":0,"gridStyle":0,"mobilePanorama":false,"placeGroupsLtr":true,"viewMode":"preview","thumbnailSpacings":4,"galleryThumbnailsAlignment":"bottom","isMasonry":false,"isAutoSlideshow":false,"slideshowLoop":false,"autoSlideshowInterval":4,"bottomInfoHeight":0,"titlePlacement":["SHOW_ON_THE_RIGHT","SHOW_BELOW"],"galleryTextAlign":"center","scrollSnap":false,"itemClick":"nothing","fullscreen":true,"videoPlay":"hover","scrollAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","slideAnimation":"SCROLL","scrollDirection":0,"scrollDuration":400,"overlayAnimation":"FADE_IN","arrowsPosition":0,"arrowsSize":23,"watermarkOpacity":40,"watermarkSize":40,"useWatermark":true,"watermarkDock":{"top":"auto","left":"auto","right":0,"bottom":0,"transform":"translate3d(0,0,0)"},"loadMoreAmount":"all","defaultShowInfoExpand":1,"allowLinkExpand":true,"expandInfoPosition":0,"allowFullscreenExpand":true,"fullscreenLoop":false,"galleryAlignExpand":"left","addToCartBorderWidth":1,"addToCartButtonText":"","slideshowInfoSize":200,"playButtonForAutoSlideShow":false,"allowSlideshowCounter":false,"hoveringBehaviour":"NEVER_SHOW","thumbnailSize":120,"magicLayoutSeed":1,"imageHoverAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imagePlacementAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","calculateTextBoxWidthMode":"PERCENT","textBoxHeight":60,"textBoxWidth":200,"textBoxWidthPercent":75,"textImageSpace":10,"textBoxBorderRadius":0,"textBoxBorderWidth":0,"loadMoreButtonText":"","loadMoreButtonBorderWidth":1,"loadMoreButtonBorderRadius":0,"imageInfoType":"ATTACHED_BACKGROUND","itemBorderWidth":0,"itemBorderRadius":0,"itemEnableShadow":false,"itemShadowBlur":20,"itemShadowDirection":135,"itemShadowSize":10,"imageLoadingMode":"BLUR","expandAnimation":"NO_EFFECT","imageQuality":90,"usmToggle":false,"usm_a":0,"usm_r":0,"usm_t":0,"videoSound":false,"videoSpeed":"1","videoLoop":true,"jsonStyleParams":"","gallerySizeType":"px","gallerySizePx":1000,"allowTitle":true,"allowContextMenu":true,"textsHorizontalPadding":-30,"itemBorderColor":{"themeName":"color_12","value":"rgba(237,237,236,0)"},"showVideoPlayButton":true,"galleryLayout":2,"calculateTextBoxHeightMode":"MANUAL","targetItemSize":1000,"selectedLayout":"2|bottom|1|max|true|0|true","layoutsVersion":2,"selectedLayoutV2":2,"isSlideshowFont":true,"externalInfoHeight":60,"externalInfoWidth":0.75},"container":{"width":170,"galleryWidth":192,"galleryHeight":0,"scrollBase":0,"height":null}}
A Kindergarten Mishap
I try to do writing prompts every morning. Here's one I did yesterday morning.
The prompt: Describe what you looked like at age 5:
Surely my mother must have gotten the memo, the email, the fax, the message in morse code, that came in when I was five from God.
Dear Lynn,
Don’t cut Jennifer’s hair short. It will cause her great insecurities in adulthood.
Hope things are well.
Love,
God.
I had freckles in my ears, on my nose, across my cheeks and in places most people don’t have freckles (according to Shannon Biggen, class bully). I had big lips and thick boy-short brown hair and a cowlick right up front that screamed cheap hair gel.
The day my picture was taken in kindergarten, my mother put me in a bright blue and white frilly dress.
Two things I hated most at age five. No, three: frilly, dresses, and pictures.
And I was an awkward kid with lots of questions. As if I was unaware of my age and my stature in this world (right, like a kid at 5 has stature) I’d ask anyone who would answer me:
-How old are you? -How many children do you have? -What do you do for a living? -Will you go to the store today? What will you buy?
My mother would say, Jennifer, don’t be nosey. It’s rude.
Now, in my five-year-old mind, I wasn’t being nosey, I was curious.
Kindergarten was a rough year. Aside from the boy-short hair, Shannon Biggen’s constant ‘boy’ comments to me, I decided one day that my Care Bear underwear were overrated and had to go. I was tired of feeling restricted. So that morning when my mother did the usual--did you brush your teeth, did you put on underwear—I lied—about the underwear part.
It was later in the day that I jumped on the swing, spread my legs and launched myself into space, that Miss Lowery promptly called me off the swings, called my mother and explained that I needed to wear undergarments when I wore a dress.
And this is how my life continued, just an unfortunate set of misunderstandings that could be explained if someone would have just asked.
How I got from my looks at age five to running free with nothing under my dress, I have no idea. A glimpse into the mind of a writer, I guess. And, too, don't take yourself so seriously today. Also, don't wear underwear and ride the swings, metaphorically speaking, of course. ( :