The anti-book review.

Jandy Nelson.

Colleen Hoover.

I'm not sure where to start. Perhaps at the beginning.

I'm not a book reviewer.

I'm not qualified. I'm not qualified because I didn't pass the secret test that all book reviewers take in order to be bestowed the covenant title: Book Reviewer.

No, I just kidding.

But, I don't write reviews simply because here's what happens. My five stages of whatever-you-want-to-call-it once I've finish an amazing read:

Stage 1: Day One:

DISBELIEF.

Seriously, did you guys just see that? What the hell happened?

I started on page one and now--I'm done?

Stage 2: Day Two:

DENIAL.

I did not finish the book. Please, someone tell me it's all a bad dream.

I want to go back to the worlds of Lennie and Joe. Lily and Atlas.

Stage 3: Day three:

ANGER.

Please, nobody touch me. Leave me alone. I just need a minute.

Seriously. There isn't a sequel? Another book in the series?

What do you mean it's a freaking stand-alone?

Stage 4: Day Four:

ACCEPTANCE.

It isn't pretty.

Still working on ACCEPTANCE.

I LOVE YOU COLLEEN HOOVER AND JANDY NELSON!!!!

(Use Rocky's tone when he yells "Adrian" if you see fit)

Thank you for giving me a new perspective.

Stage 5: Day Five:

RECOVERY.

Pull back the curtains.

Open the windows.

Let the sunlight in.

The road is slow, but it's one that's traveled quite often.

The first smile since I've finished. I will preserver!

At this point, I don't want to re-live the last five days. So, I end up picking up another book to help me forget about the past days. And the two to three days prior to that during my reading process. And now? I cannot write that review because I'm not sure I want to feel through the harsh realities of these past days.

I should really write a review though, I tell myself. It helps the author, I know.

SHIT.